michael orlitzky


mjo on freenode

If you can't see my email addresses above, you've got javascript disabled. If you're bright enough to do that, you can probably figure out my email address when I say that it's <my_first_name>@<my_last_name>.com.

GPG Keys

My GPG public key, in both binary and ASCII formats.

About Me

mythical zero ilk
am rich like zloty


  1. Twitter — 2015-03-24 (Updated 2015-08-15)
  2. Motherfuckers Need Package Management — 2015-07-05
  3. New Gandi Certificates in Apache 2.4 — 2015-03-14
  4. Certificate Chains in Apache 2.4 — 2015-01-09
  5. Overview of Email Spam and Forgery Countermeasures — 2014-06-05
  6. So you're Blacklisted… — 2014-01-05
  7. Avoid the Link “target” Attribute — 2013-10-30
  8. Decoupling Rails and Passenger from Bundler — 2013-09-10
  9. Using Haddock Markup in a Cabal File — 2013-07-27
  10. Why I'm Against CA-signed Certificates — 2013-03-23 (Updated 2015-04-02)
  11. The Derivative of a Quadratic Form — 2013-03-12
  12. In Defense of Self-signed Certificates — 2013-02-16
  13. Fixing POSIX ACLs in Common Utilities — 2013-01-30
  14. Redundant Postfix main.cf Parameters — 2013-01-02
  15. Problems with POSIX ACLs and Common Utilities — 2012-08-13
  16. Persistent ulimit for Daemons in Gentoo — 2012-08-06
  17. Thinkpad X61s ath5k rfkill Issues — 2012-06-02
  18. Fixing PDF Graphics in LyX — 2012-05-11
  19. Upgrading PostgreSQL 9.x on Gentoo — 2012-02-13
  20. Avoiding RewriteBase with Apache mod_rewrite — 2012-02-08
  21. Backing Up Microsoft SQL Server Express — 2011-07-24
  22. Fuck You — Updated 2011-05-16
  23. OpenSSL Commands I Would Like to Remember — 2010-11-28
  24. Server 2008 Print Spooler Dies with Error 0x80010057 — 2010-05-28
  25. Fixing KVM (QEMU) Keymaps — 2010-04-05
  26. Resizing a KVM or QEMU Disk Image — 2010-03-21
  27. New Certificates in IIS without Downtime — 2010-03-16

    (follow-up to Replacing a Certificate in IIS without Downtime)

  28. Migrating from Windows DNS to tinydns — 2010-01-03

Older articles are in alphabetical order.

  1. Can't Rename Local Windows Users?
  2. Error 1740 from Task Scheduler
  3. GoDaddy's Spam Filter is Broken
  4. How to Enable Ctrl-S on the OLPC (Sugar)
  5. Multiple Attachments in Mutt
  6. On the Reputation of Aaron Burr
  7. Related Concepts in Algebra
  8. Replacing a Certificate in IIS without Downtime
  9. SDL Key Codes for the XO Gamepad
  10. Streaming Files to Internet Explorer over HTTPS
  11. Why X-UA-Compatible is Stupid
  12. Windows File Search is Broken


I moved the code to its own page because it was taking up too much damn space.


  1. txtor

    Le txtor est mort, vive le txtor! (I killed the site).

    In case it is useful, I have released the source code of latest revision of the site under the WTFPL .

  2. Obfuscate or Die

    Obfuscate or Die encodes email addresses or other "sensitive" information for use in XHTML or Javascript. It's also a stupid pun.

What I Want

  1. Amazon Wish List (General)
  2. Amazon Wish List (Math Books)
  3. Cairo Safety Matches (Large) on Stretched Canvas
  4. Elephant Safety Matches (Large) on Stretched Canvas


  1. Optimal Recovery of Differentiable Functions by Univariate Splines — Master's thesis


  1. The Lyapunov rank of an improper cone: Lie algebra (Part II) — UMBC Optimization Seminar, September 17th, 2015
  2. The Lyapunov rank of an improper cone: Algorithms (Part I) — UMBC Optimization Seminar, September 10th, 2015
  3. Topological Groups in Optimization — UMBC Optimization Seminar, February 3rd, 2015
  4. Lyapunov Rank and Perfect Cones — UMBC Optimization Seminar, September 25th, 2014
  5. Introduction to Koecher Cones — UMBC Optimization Seminar, May 1st, 2014
  6. Optimal Recovery of Differentiable Functions by Univariate Splines — Master's thesis
  7. Optimization Under Uncertainty and Risk — 14th Annual George Mason University Conference on Atmospheric Transport and Dispersion Modeling

The following sections look like crap in Internet Explorer, but it's not my fault.

News, Etc.


  1. I also made a print stylesheet for math-blog.com. What is it with these blog themes?